The Week In Review: January 24, 2009



Dear readers: What have we learned this week?

We learned that it’s totally common to freak out over your friend requests. In my post on my phobia of requesting friends, I admitted that I seldom request friendships. I’m insecure and afraid of rejection. And in 2009, I’m getting over it! So I vowed to send out friend requests that very day. I started with Harve Pierre, the dude from BadBoy who was “suggested” to me. And so, what happened?

And I was confirmed! Yay!

I noticed that Harve has like, 5,000 friends. So I take his acceptance with a grain of salt.

I sent a request to Karen Good, the writer who wrote the Vibe Brandy cover that I loved.

And I was confirmed! Yay!

Karen sent me a cute email, letting me know she confirmed me BEFORE she ran across my blog post about being afraid to friend request her. I believe her. I think.

And finally, I sent a FriendRequest to Farai Chideya, former host of News and Notes on NPR. Let’s see…



Well. It’s only been a week. She could have been really busy. Might not have even seen my Request yet. Right? Or maybe, like me, she’s marinating on it for a minute. At the moment, I have eight friend requests. For some reason, I haven’t placed them in their proper categories yet. I’m starting to waffle on my Confirm Them All Strategy. Wondering if I should be more selective. But the thought of Not Confirming someone…well, I don’t know if I can do it! We’ll see.

This week, I also admitted that I hate my name. At least my name when I’m at home. Not my blogger-writer-author name, which I love. I hate my hypehnated married name. And I got lots of good feedback from folks who are going through the same thing. I just asked TheHusband two seconds ago: “Would you care if I changed my last name back to King?”

He said, “Yes. I would.”

That’s that. Moving on.

Later this week, I admitted that I, like MANY of you, am I thief. For a month, I stole internet office from my neighbor at work. And I felt bad for it. (Still do). My office manager shut me down and I had to go out and get a USB-powered Internet connection. Which I hate. There were lots of suggestions here for options from my Dear Readers and I appreciate that.

My favorite post of the week was my post on 10 questions about the Obamas. Y’know, the random things  that we’re not sure it’s safe to say in mixed company. Well, it’s safe now ’cause I just broke fool and asked the questions we dare not ask. (Oh. and my eagle-eyed Dear Reader Katura pointed out that I only had nine questions on my list, not 10. Ooops).

Interestingly, in the comments section, it was the issue of Malia and Sasha’s hair that got the most feedback. Is their hair permed? It seems so. Does it matter? Well. In a word, yes.

It still boggles my mind that there are Black folks in the White House. Not in the large ways. It already seems normal for me to see Obama at his desk, signing paperwork.

It’s the small things that make me wonder. The hair grease, the soul food, the pinochle, the grandma. So much of MY world and MY life will be in the White House? Feel me?

Well. I ran a contest to see which reader could help me encapsulate my feelings on the whole thing, while giving me their vibe as well. The prize for the contest?!


The cheesy but oh-so-awesome Obama commemorative plate. (It’s 22K gold plated!)

I loved Hanif’s thoughts on the Obamas’ sex life…

If they are having sex is not the question, but How? Did she give him that good ole presidential special?

Hilarious. Although, maybe too much of a visual, even for me. But a Honorable Mention to you sir.

But the Commenter Of The Week Award™ goes to a woman who had me pumping my fist in the air and saying, ‘yeah! that’s right! what she said!”

An excerpt:

but the question i’ve pondered the most is the question of fried chicken. there has probably never been a drop of kool-aid in obama home but what kind of idiot, especially one repping AMERICA, doesn’t have fried chicken? for fuck’s sake, that’s one of our country’s greatest contributions to global cuisine. they’re just going to have to pick the occasion carefully (some 4th of july picnic or something) and serve it a really precious “nouveau americana” context with saffron dusted something or other.

So the winner of the commemorative plate is Alexandra Marshall. Alex, dahling, email me your snail-mail address. And make sure you send me a picture of you and the plate!! I need to start a photo gallery of my DearReaders and their prizes. (Tremaya and Kim O, this go for the both of you too)

My last post this week is still a sore point for me. Honestly, I really don’t want to talk about it right now. It was my update on the saga of the Biggie Belt. My apologies, I can’t revisit it right now. I’m too upset. It seems as though the Biggie belt may have been lost forever. I haven’t given up hope yet. Still need to talk to Kim O, Gotti and J. Pablo. I’m not letting it go. Yet. But I don’t have a good feeling about it.

A part of me feels like I’m making too big of a deal about it. I called J. Pablo like three times and left messages. I know he’s probably like, why is this chick stalking me about this damn belt? It’s so silly. Kind of. But then, it’s not. Or is it? I don’t know.

I do appreciate so much that so many people reached out on that thread. From Chris Wilder, who wrote the first feature on Biggie in The Source to almost ALL the Keepers of The Belt. Chris Wilder commented that the thread made him appreciate those who came to The Source after him. I can’t agree more. Tracing the history of the belt has been like doing a reverse family tree. I feel a connection to all who moved into the condo after I left. And the belt is (was?!) a shared connector.

I sincerely hope it’s found.

Have a great weekend. I’ll see you all bright and early Monday morning.


8 Responses to “The Week In Review: January 24, 2009”

  1. Aliya S. King Says:

    Update: I just got off the phone with J. Pablo.

    J. Pablo said the last time he saw the belt, it was handing on the back of the door, where this story all began.

    “It was either Boo or Gotti who told me the story,” J. Pablo said.

    J. Pablo says that he only worked in that office for two or three weeks before he left and the magazine moved to 23rd Street.

    “I came up there to get my last check,” he said. “They were all packing up and the movers were coming. I asked Boo and Gotti if someone got the belt. They said they didn’t know. But that they hoped so.”

    J. Pablo said that he continued freelancing for the magazine and came to the new offices at 23rd Street. But the belt wasn’t there.

    “After all this,” says J. Pablo, “I wish I did steal it.”

    “I’m starting to feel like that too,” I said.

    “I remember the belt. It was kind of cheap and crappy,” said J. Pablo. “Maybe the movers threw it out by mistake.”

    “No. The mistake happened long before the movers came. Someone was supposed to pack it up before the movers got there.”

    “Right,” said J. Pablo. “I don’t know…I asked Boo and Gotti. They didn’t know.”

    So here we are. Although J. Pablo was the last official Keeper Of The Belt, it seems like Gotti, who had passed the tale on to many Keepers, is the person I need to talk to. I’ve known Gotti for a long time. Love him to death. I’m hoping he can shed some light on this. Will this EVER end?!

  2. Kimberly Burgess Wilson Says:

    We need closure. It’s all right to keep pushing.

  3. Gene Williams Says:

    Oh no!!! I have a feeling this is going to end bad. :(

  4. Bridgette Says:

    Loving the blog. Need to add it to my blogroll today actually. Perhaps someone has already pointed this out but I don’t think Malia and Sasha have relaxed hair now. If you pay closer attention, you will notice that they have been going back and forth between kinky/curly treeses and straight strands for over a year now. (Example? Peep that their hair was staight on Election night but fuzzy again for their first day of school at Sidwell…) I think that they get their hair pressed and/or blown out when it appears super straight. Sorta like most of “us” did on Easter Sunday or picture day at school back in the day. In fact, I went back and forth when I was natural as an adult all the time. A good blow dryer can convert hair in mere minutes a la Dominican hair stylists.

    However, if you want to argue that their hair is seemingly straight for “special” or “important” occassions and left in it’s natural state for others as an indication that straight hair is somehow “better” or “more appropriate”…well that is another story. And while I would certainly love to join you in that discussion as I have so many times in the past (I grew up with a father who NEVER allowed my to say “good hair”.) with others when the subject of “our hair” comes up in grown folks convos, I gotta pass this time. From the outside (far outside) looking in, the President, First Lady and Grandma are doing an amazing job with Malia and Sasha. They appear to be humble, well-adjusted and extremely bright little people. I can deal with their hair being straight and now and again. Even if it is for reasons I disagree with.

  5. Chris Wilder Says:

    Aliya, don’t feel bad about the Farai Chideya thing. I sent a request months ago that’s gone unanswered. The difference between you and I is that I had forgotten all about sending her a request until now that I’m reading your blog; whereas, I feel like you sit up nights waiting for her to respond. Honestly, I don’t think she checks it anyway. I’m pretty sure that before her NPR show was cancelled Farai’s page was being run by this woman:

    If you really wanna get at Farai, holler at her.

    Also, I see Alex won your little contest. Nice to see The Thread represent. Hopefully, for your wallet’s and shipping fee’s sake, all of the winners won’t live in France.

  6. Aliya S. King Says:

    @Gene: we’re not giving up yet…
    @Kimberley: …but I’m not seeing closure
    @Bridgette: right there with you. (and welcome by the way, pull up a chair and stay a awhile). Your feelings, re: all the wonderfulness that seems to be exuding from the Obama-lettes is definitely overriding any good-hair bad hair-debates in my mind. sidebar: My maternal grandmother had straight hair. People would say, “you have good hair.” She would reply: “I suppose. Ain’t never gave me no trouble or anyone else.” She didn’t play that good hair business either.
    There IS an argument to be had about when the straighten and when they don’t. But again, like you, I can totally deal with it. As long as the questions are thrown out there…
    @Chris; I think you missed the point of the post. I have Farai’s personal email address. And her home address, actually. I’m sure my agent could get at her in no time. The post wasn’t about access. It was about the FriendRequest phobia. It was about insecurity and how it manifests in a place like Facebook. You don’t have the Phobia. But I, and many others do. And yes, Alex won! I’m hoping it will be so expensive to send her the present that it will be more cost effective to just travel to paris and deliver in person….

  7. la negrita Says:

    @Bridgette, I feel you too…about not opening that can of worms haha. I’ve had that discussion already and it is a headache! One last thing to note about the straight vs. nappy, though. I find that White people are actually MORE accepting of my natural hair than Blacks. Even when I feel I’m having a very bad hair day, they compliment me on how “cool” it is. Our hair is intriguing to many of them. I think if the Obama girls wore their hair natural on these “special” occasions, it would be a HUGE statement for all races and ethnicities.

  8. Paul/Pos Says:

    Now I’m pissed. I got all gassed for nothing. The belt is gone and i’m no longer giving anymore energy to it. Aliya fill me in if yall ever find it. How can people be that irresponsible when the offices were moving for something that important? That shoulda been the first thing to get packed. Or maybe it was and now we just have a thief on our hands. Either way, i’m disgusted. I will not be posting on this blog anymore. That was like getting taken to the top of a building and then dropped. Lemme know if it turns out better than i’m expecting now.

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