Be My Guest: Luvvie
Luvvie makes me laugh. Out loud. Not the fake LOL that you just type out without really smiling. I mean real guffaws that fly out of my mouth as I’m reading her witty comments on Twitter, her own blog and even in the comments section of my own blog. I love her sharp-tongued wit and her use of slang is hilarious.
A few months ago, after a particularly side-splitting exchange on Twitter, (subject: Stevie Wonder’s hairline), I began to wonder. Who is this chick? I know she lives in Chicago. I know she’s funny as hell. But who IS she? On her blog and on Twitter, she shares very little personal information about herself. Her avatar is an illustration.
I’m always curious about the way people present themselves online. When I first started blogging all those years ago, (read: six months), I shared a lot about my personal life. Maybe too much. I’ve reigned it in a bit. But you can still read every post here and get a good sense of who I am and what makes me tick. (Scary!)
Luvvie doesn’t share. Anything. Ever.
I asked her to explain why. And she has. Good stuff here.
Enjoy.
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The Surface Blogger
By: Luvvie
I sit down to write a post for my blog. The topic… Religion? Nope. Relationships? Not my own. Politics? Umm… I like Obama. That’s good enough.
Which celebrities do I think need to go SAT DOWN and think about themselves? Yes. I’ll write about that. What fashion trends need to die a violent death in a Dereon bonfire? My readers are all too familiar. Hilarious adventure I had yesterday? Sure, I’ll share.
I don’t write about anything that’s really personal to me. I don’t write about how Father’s Day came and went with no recognition from me despite the fact that my dad is alive and well. I don’t write about how I wish I could forge a stronger relationship with God.
By nature, I’m non-confrontational. Harmony Rules Everything Around Me (HREAM). To open myself up is to subject myself to vilification. And honestly, being judged by people, even those I do not know, is something I’m not ready for. I’m just not brave enough.
I haven’t always been a Surface Blogger though.
I started blogging in the days when AOL reigned supreme and the running yellow man and that “ping” sound signified an internet connection. Back when A/S/L (age/sex/location) was a popular “getting to know you” question. (24/No, thank you. I hardly know you/Chitown). Yes, yes y’all. Way back in 2003.
Picture it, my computer, six years ago. It was the second semester of my freshman year in college. The blogging platform was called Xanga. It was clunky, slow and the content looked clumsy.
My blog was called “Consider This The Letter I Never Wrote.” It was like an online journal. Sometimes, I’d blog about my day, no matter how minute the details.
I also blogged about extreme emotions and vented. Super pissed? Blog about it.
Feeling really down? Weep with my words.
The time I fought with my good friend and felt betrayed? Call her a b*tch online.
Witnessed my nephew’s birth? Describe the joy & disgust of childbirth to everyone!
I shared my highs and lows with my reader(s), which consisted of a handful of friends. Basically, it was an ordinary (read: boring) blog of a college student’s life.
Then my stepdad died of cancer in December of 2005:
“My Stepdad’s wake was yesterday, and it was tough. What I saw was far from the man I knew. At first, when we walked into the funeral home, and into the section where he was laid, I walked about 10 feet from the casket and retreated, because the glimpse of him totally unsettled me. I walked away, and had a quick cry and then came back and got by the casket. His body looked nice in the gray pinstriped suit that me and my Mom picked out for him. His tie was on point (a gradated blue and gray one). There was a Bible on his chest with his arms placed on it, and a rosary around that. The suit fitted him to a tee (which in itself was a GREAT accomplishment by the Undertakers, due to the fact that he probably weighed less than me when he died). Then I worked my way up to his face, and here was where I just wanted to bawl.”
My stepdad was a handsome man, who was closer to the lighter side than darker. He loved to laugh, and loved to LIVE, and live well. The man in the casket only slightly resembled him, with his dark, rubbery skin, and expressionless face. The only way I knew it was him for sure was by the shape of his eyes, and his profile still showed a bit of his former self. I was FLOORED! I stared, walked away, and repeated over the course of the night. Before the service started, at one point, the only people standing by his casket were me and my Sis. And we touched him. He was SO COLD and hard. His body was rigid. “Can I touch his face?” My sis said “Yeah if you want.” It was like I was touching mere skull. So cold, and so hard. We stared for a while, and studied him almost. I couldn’t stop. I was looking at him, hoping that I’d see a little twitch at anytime, and he’d open his eyes. Nothing. He didn’t quite look like he was sleeping, and I’m not sure if I’d say he looked completely lifeless either. But he certainly was not in that body.”
I opened myself up in a way I probably never will again in a public forum. I am no longer willing to share my pain and deepest feelings with a unknown amount of people. Even reading it now, I get slightly uncomfortable that I shared so much of myself. I can’t remember if there were any comments on that post, but I can’t imagine that I actually wanting feedback when I posted that.
Today, I’m a closed book with a few open chapters.
I abandoned Xanga 3 years ago and moved to Blogger where I created a new blog named “Luvvie’s Queendom” or something chiché and cheesy like that. Then changed it to “Luvvie’s Random Rants”, which today is “Awesomely Luvvie.”
The recipe for my blog’s brand of social commentary is a scoop of analysis with a dollop of wit and a pinch of snark in a crust of IGnance (not to be confused with ignorance. IGnance is plum foolery, while still being intelligent). This gave birth to LuvvieIG (my Twitter screename).
I accidentally carved a niche for myself as a humorist when I started blogging about random things in the news, pop culture and just life in general. What I blog about is often my stream of consciousness, and apparently, it’s amusing. I give credit to my over-imagination and my penchant for foolish metaphors.
A few of my reader favorites:
When writing about something that makes me loose my cool, odds are, you will see a *wall slide* or two (picture when someone goes on a wall and slides down into a crumple on the floor. THAT is a wall slide). The first reference I saw to someone sliding down a wall was on VerysmartBrothas.com. My imagination ran wild with it and I’ve been wall sliding ever since.
When something is too ridiculous for me to fathom, or has rendered me dumbfounded, I say a simple “iCan’t.” Can’t what? Doesn’t matter, Whatever it is, I just can’t. This is closely related to “iRebuke it.”
When I see a wig or weave, I refer to it as a “hairhat” (because some folks’ hair looks like a literal hat of hair strands)
My other Luvvie-isms include: iHate that iLove you, *thug on floor* (for when I get emotional), iRoast because iLove, iShan’t…
Although I get a lot of people to laugh, sometimes, I wish I hadn’t pigeon-holed myself into being a humorist. There are times I want to lay on my eCouch and vent to my readers about the things that are truly bogging me down. I’m tempted to talk about my perpetual feeling of being overwhelmed because of my huge fear of failure.
But at this point, folks have come to expect a certain kind of writing from me. To serve them with an op-ed or an emo post would weaken my brand.
Although even Atlas Shrugged, Luvvie can’t. I’ll just *wall slide* my way through my thoughts. Thankfully, I don’t have to try too hard to be funny. If I did, I’d be drier than Beyonce and her lacefront hairhat during an interview. My hope is to stand out somehow by making folks cackle a couple of times.
Will I ever write about personal topics again? Sure. When Idris Elba ends up on my doorstep and professes his love for me, I’ll share EVERY bit of that experience with my readers.
Until then. iShan’t.
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Luvvie is a Chicago Nonprofit Marketing Coordinator by day and a blogger with a passion for rants by night (and weekend). You can catch more of her at her eCribs: Awesomely Luvvie and House of IG. She is also the co-founder of The Red Pump Project, an initiative to raise awareness on the impact of HIV/AIDS on women & girls.
Dear Readers: Do you share online? On your own blogs, do you talk about your personal life? How much is too much? When it comes to reading blogs, do you prefer folks who share? Or do you understand why some folks prefer to keep things to themselves in the blogosphere.
Luvvie and I would love to hear from you!
Aliya S. King 
August 5, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Thanks for having me, Aliya! “does jig*
August 5, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I must say Aliya (and Luvvie) I completely agree. I’m entering my third year of college, switching to a new school, a new environment, hold down three jobs and I’m 20. There’s plenty to twit or blog about I’m sure.
But recently I went on a rant about how my school acceptance almost got revoked over some (fo’ show) B.S. and I let my emotions ride on Twitter. i explained to the T, how I cried and fought to get my acceptance back.
It helped in the moment, but as soon as I looked back, later on that evening, I felt a tinge of regret. Here I was typing my life away to people I know well, and some I don’t know so well and in a way letting them into the emotional side of my world. I did the same thing on my blog once, but went back and edited it to a less personal style.
I won’t say I’m AFRAID to let it all go for all eyes to see but I will say I totally understand where the reluctance comes from. It’s just too open, too vulnerable..and whoever thought you could feel vulnerable from Twitter?
Ps. Aliya! I love your blog and I’m following you on Twitter ;-) (such a geek)… I’d like to get in touch if you have any tips for a just-starting-out baby journalist like myself, I’m :MsFierceBaby.
August 5, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I love it! New reader here.
August 5, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Wow, this is more than I ever knew about my own homie! As much as we laugh and joke, this was beautiful and touched me!
August 5, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Injecting reality into a blog is tough. I understand why folk would keep themselves to themselves. I dont write about too much of my own life on my blog. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. It really depends on what it is. My mama subscribes to my feed. Even though I’m grown, there are still some crevices of my mind that I would like to share, but not at the expense of people reading it who know me (read: mama still dont need to know everything). I do tend to flock towards blogs that feature essays of personal experiences though. I feel its more genuine. Having said all that, I love Luvvie’s blog. And twitter for that matter. Its sheer entertainment. I almost caught myself giving somebody a “fool saddown gift basket” the other day. And I owe it all to Luvvie!! LOL
August 5, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Great post, Luvvie. I like the fact your not overly personal in your blogs, but you just humorous.
August 5, 2009 at 4:31 pm
That was great, Luvvie! It’s great to put a face with a name. I think we read the same blogs. And yes, you are too funny!
In the beginning, I planned on making my blog anonymous because I was sharing personal information. It’s weird because I wanted people to know that I was blogging, but I didn’t (get it?). I passed the link on to one of my friends and before I knew it, other folks started emailing me. I got a little bold and put a pic up. At the mall, at the CLUB, people were like, “Yeah, I read your blog.” You what????
Often, I think about deleting certain posts about relationships, family, etc. Yes, my MAMA reads it. Even has it bookmarked. Since then, I’ve decided to only mention small things that don’t matter, but sometimes it hard to find things to blog about. I figure, I might as well use myself as a topic. The last weird thing that happened was an old college friend telling me, “congrats on the house, btw.” Huh? How did you know? “Oh, I read it on your blog!”
Scary, indeed! And my fault, too!
August 5, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Okay, major typos, people! My bad!
August 5, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Giving out too much pesonal information has not been a specialty of mine. I usually stick to the script. Give out love and relationship advice unless it relates to something personal that happened to me. That’s when I interject my life in the input.
I can relate because one feels very vulnerable when they reveal too much about themselves. I guess that’s why I will stay shrouded behind my avatar.
This was very good. tank you or sharing.
August 5, 2009 at 4:36 pm
BTW – That was a very good read Twitter BFF. I see you and I are a lot alike.
*wink*
August 5, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Great post. I put a link to your site on my bloglist at http://cornerboyjazz.blogspot.com.
August 5, 2009 at 10:00 pm
That was a brilliant post. I luv Luvvie!
August 5, 2009 at 11:38 pm
luvvie! this was touching, let me find out there is a soul under all that IG;) i’m jk, as a fellow thug (on floor) i knew there was a lot more that meets the eye.
keep making us laugh, even though we might not thank you enough, we preciate ya.
muah!
ps) thanks for hosting the ignant one, aliyasking:)
August 5, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Luvvie:
Great post. I love it. I don’t believe in giving too much personal information but every now and then I do open up about myself in my comments depending on the topic of the post and I respond honestly when asked a direct question by the blogger or a fellow commenter. Thanks for sharing, Luvvie! See you in Twitterville!
August 5, 2009 at 11:46 pm
P.S. That’s a great photo of you!
August 5, 2009 at 11:49 pm
well, i can relate. although my blog is (well, some time) of a personal nature, i still don’t go at it full force and even when i ALMOST approach it, it doesn’t matter cuz i blog anonymously anyway (yes, that was a run on lol).
i’ve been struggling with how much of MYSELF to inject in the internets. it’s a struggle. on one hand i want to make a name for MYself as a writer (my government), but on the other, i don’t want my business in the streets. people talk enough, i don’t need to be the subject (unless its for good of course lol).
great read!
August 6, 2009 at 12:17 am
I don’t share a lot about myself online because my plan to take over the world includes being a public servant, and we all know how the vetting process goes! In the grand scheme of things, nothing I’ve said or done online is really that bad. But people have the “cut and paste” syndrome where they create their own image of you from the fragments they’re able to uncover. Such is life.
I remember talking to my uncle and expressing concern over things I’d written in school. With the internet making it easy for employers to spy on you, you have to be extremely cautious. The Internet archives; it won’t edit to accommodate change. Unc’s advice was to let the chips fall where they may. Although it doesn’t keep me from worrying, he’s right. If I lose out on a position because a hiring manager judged me based on something I wrote ‘x’ years ago…well, that probably wasn’t the right job for me.
Being judged by people really isn’t a fear of mine. The only folks I allow to hurt me are those close to me. They are few, and I’m working on getting that power back. I am used to being judged…and wrongly at that. My own family has some skewed perception of me that is so far from reality that I just laugh. And these days, I actually prefer if people come up with their own assumptions. I just roll with ’em. The less explaining I have to do. A well-intentioned person once said to me: “You’re one of those people I stay away from because your energy brings me down.” I didn’t respond. Wasn’t angry, or really even hurt. All I could think was You really don’t know me at all. And he doesn’t. But I will always appreciate his perspective, even if I don’t agree with it. When it comes to people and their opinions, you have to learn to sift through the bullshit. Take what you can use and chuck the rest. And if you know who you are, you’ll find that most of it IS bullshit.
These days, I try my best to live by the four agreements:
(1) Be Impeccable With Your Word.
(2) Don’t Take Anything Personally.
(3) Don’t Make Assumptions.
(4) Always Do Your Best
#2 is the hardest one, but I think it’s the most important. At first I didn’t get it. How can I not take anything personally when I KNOW that comment was directed toward me?!?!? But if you really think about it…it’s true. Any action someone takes really is about THEM, even if you happen to be their target.
August 6, 2009 at 11:51 am
I’ve been blogging for about five years (various sites) and I find myself getting less and less personal. I think it’s because I no longer need feedback or validation about my experiences any more. I see that my blog is becoming more of a series of essays and I’m satisfied with the current reincarnation right now.
I know people who blog every single day and nearly every single hour. And while I can admire their need to express themselves, I don’t envy them because I know that much sharing can only burn you out and you start running out of inspiration. Besides, ppl start thinking they know you and can say whatever. Uh…negative!
August 6, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I love Luvvie I follow her on twitter and always has me cracking up! Her word play is so on point, her commentary is extremely entertaining, and she doesn’t exude an air of being “greater than thou” (in the blogosphere) she actually appears to be down to earth and I love that. I love the concept of “surface” blogging, because we need that light heartedness in today’s society.
I am really new to blogging and though Luvvie and I blog about different things and have a different style, I feel that I learn a lot about blogging and writing by simply watching her.
I am a fan! And with every achievement I want Luvvie to know I’m rooting for her!! (and retweeting every funny thing you tweet!! LOL)
-FPD
August 6, 2009 at 3:40 pm
I think it takes more courage to fully expose yourself in your blog…to be an open book. You’re definitely putting yourself out there and can expect all types of feedback. While it can be therapeutic it’s not for everyone. I like being forthcoming in my blog but as I’ve matured I’ve learned to hold back on the overly emotional, dramatic rants. It’s just unnecessary. That’s when you pick up the phone and call a friend…
August 6, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Luvvie-
Just awww… reading your experience at your stepfather’s wake strikes some very resonant chords with me… especially this week.
Anyhoo… you know I luv ya and yer Ig!!
I blog in a random manner. Sometimes it’s slightly witty (I hope to aspire to Ignance one day), and sometimes it’s personal. I don’t really think about the opening up to vilification angle coz 1. I’m old n over it… don’t really care if ppl like me or my blog or not (even tho there are a few, read 3 or 4, ppl whose opinions I value) and 2. when I post, I turn it loose to the universe, it’s not “mine” anymore, it just is.
I’m a little more sensitive about my poetry blog, but even then, the worst thing that can happen is someone can say “Hey, you suck!” They can’t take away my birthday…
Luv… anytime you feel the need to wander off your beaten oft Ig-laden path, you’re welcome to come be random with me! Under a pseudonym of course… lol!!
August 6, 2009 at 5:35 pm
@luvvie: good read, homey. Glad to see you out of the IGnant shell, even if only for a quick sec or two. It’s cool to see what makes you tic.
Anybody who reads you or follows you on Twitter knows you’ve got something good going. Just keep it up… And don’t be afraid to hit a personal note if you feel so led… I’ve learned that letting people into your world, even if only a little, helps tremendously …
August 6, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I REALLY appreciate all the kind words y’all. It felt good to actually step away from the humor armor for just a little bit. I’ve been feeling the itch lately to expand my writing and I just may. Just not on AwesomelyLuvvie.com. Will have to create a whole new space for my REAL writing.
But AweLuv is my “Cheers”, where everybody knows my name.
I feel loved by my eFamily! HUGS FOR EVERYONE!
August 7, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Aw, this made my eyes well up a bit since it pretty much mirrored the funeral of my dad who also died of cancer when I was 13. You perfectly encapsulated the feeling of “should I touch him” and the reaction once you did.
I definitely feel ya on your reasons not to share anything to personal — those walls are hard to break — but it is such a humbling experience when you do…and very therapeutic. Thanks for sharing and I hope it was productive for ya.
And girl, don’t worry, you readers won’t mind if you decide to get serious every now and then…we know the natural humor of Luvvie will ALWAYS be there. ;)
August 7, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I loved this article! very well done Luvvie. I really like seeing this side of you.
August 8, 2009 at 8:47 am
you know how overly excited first time pregnant chicks read to the baby in the womb? well i wish my mom had tried this with me. unfortunately i came out of her and into this life blabbing all of my business, absolutely all of it. when i became a writer not long after birth, the bad habit continued. i know for sure that a nice blog suggesting that one have boundaries wouldve helped.
late save, luvvie. but thanks much for the free psychotherapy. you really rock. and aliyasking rocks for having you.
August 8, 2009 at 2:10 pm
both my website, my original blogger blog and my twitter feed are pretty much uncensored. I write about what I feel and rarely edit anything or look back at it before I click publish.
August 8, 2009 at 4:59 pm
i have been struggling with the ‘how much me is too much’ issue for months now, between twitter, a work blog and the worst offender, my facebook page. the only solution, for me, has been to create separate twitter pages for work and personal, and keep even the personal pages very ‘surface’ to use luvvie’s word. i had to even go as far as not letting some of my fav people onto my fb page…love their IG at home but it is so not for public consumption. LOL. that said, luv the post, luvvie and aliya. keep em coming!
August 9, 2009 at 10:37 pm
I love this post. Thanks to Luvvie for being so open about why she’s not going to be open. LOL!
I share a little bit of everything on my blog. Some of it is ignant (Do you see what I see, which is a segment where I snap pics of people looking a mess), most of it is capturing the hilarity that is my life. I try not to share so much that ill-willed people could use it against, but not share so little that people would think I’m fake. My blog isn’t as popular as Luvvie’s but it’s real and it’s honest (and people tell me it’s funny), so I tihnk I’m doing ok.
Great post!
August 21, 2009 at 11:40 am
Reading anything from Luvvie always makes me *jig*!
August 21, 2009 at 5:16 pm
omg Luvvie i luvs you “Back when AOL roamed supreme…”
I was crackin up