Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil: Melissa Forde, Lil Kim and Oprah

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That's right you heard me! I said tell the truth and shame the devil!

That's right you heard me! I said tell the truth and shame the devil!

In Shakespeare’s Henry IV: Part I, a character named Hotspur says the following:

And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil
By telling truth: tell truth and shame the devil.
If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,
And I’ll be sworn I have power to shame him hence.
O, while you live, tell truth and shame the devil!

Five hundred years later, the words still ring true. Sometimes, you just gotta tell the truth so you can shame the devil… Melissa Forde, I’m starting with you…

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This young lady is Melissa Forde. She’s often referred to as Rihanna’s best friend. (That tattoo of roman numerals on Rhianna’s shoulder? Melissa’s birthdate. Which is hella strange to me. But whatever. I’m old I guess.)

Anyway. After the Chris Brown-Rhianna beatdown, police reports state that Chris Brown called Melissa and left her a voicemail apologizing for what happened and vowing to get help. (This could be what ultimately brings him down. Since my lawyer friends tell me this can be considered an admission of guilt).

Here’s what I don’t understand. The internets tell me that Melissa is one of the chicks in this pool, recently chilling with Brown and his crew. How is Melissa Forde chilling in the pool with Chris Brown a few weeks after he left a voicemail on her phone apologizing for beating her best friend to a bloody pulp?

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I’m not clear on this.

Let me tell you about my friends. If my man beat me up and then left a voicemail apologizing for it, here’s what would happen.

Victoria, my college roommate, would wait on the courthouse steps, cell phone in hand, waiting to testify. And if I got back with him, she would not speak to me, much less hang out poolside with the man who clocked me in the nose.

Maya, whose been my girl since 1978, would call my parents, sister and brother and set up the plan to whisk me away from dude and talk some sense into me.

My girl Portia would come to Miami. She’d hang out in the pool with him, smile in his face showing all her teeth, and then when he went to sleep? She’d castrate him. (She’s a trauma nurse in the ER. She could stitch him back up real nice.)

I’m not clear on how Melissa Forde is riding with Rihanna if this girl is really going back to Chris Brown.

Sidebar: I am not passing judgment on what happened in that car. Not even after seeing the picture of Rihanna. I can’t go by what the police report says. It only has one side to the story: Rihanna’s. Obviously, Chris was wrong. But only two people know what happened in that car. I have punched and kicked men in my lifetime, something no woman should EVER do. And lucky for me, dudes were mature enough to disengage and walk away instead of retaliating. But please believe that I will be teaching TG and Tog that they are never to put their hands on a man. Ever. No mushing in the face. No punching because you know he can’t (or at least shouldn’t) hit back. None of that crap. It’s not cute. And on the same hand, I teach my nephews that if some chick, (like the younger version of myself) tests them, they HAVE to find the strength to walk away.

No matter what went down. If Rihanna attacked Chris first and he hit her back in self defense, (unlikely, I know) or if Chris really is just a coward who lost his temper, I’m giving Melissa Forde the side eye here.

How many of you would support your friend if she went back to an abusive boyfriend? How many of you would hang out with him if he left you a message stating that he knows he did wrong and he’s sorry. Is that enough?

Truth: These people don’t want to lose their meal ticket. So they are going along with whatever so they don’t lose their place as sidemen. Devil is now shamed.

Moving on…

If you look better in a mug shot than you do when you’re mugging for the cameras, there’s a problem. Here’s Lil Kim in a 1996 mugshot photo.

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Here she is today. (This is not the picture I wanted to use. There is a more disturbing photo that I can’t find right now. It was snapped while she was walking into rehearsals for DWTS. She’s wearing a Louis Vuitton messenger bag and matching duffel. Which by the way, are hot. Anyone seen those photos of homegirl? Email ’em to me please.)

lil-kim

I think I’m seeing a nose job, boob implants, cheek implants?, skin bleaching (!!!), lip plumping and of course colored contacts. Can someone please explain to me how her neck is so much lighter? This girl was chocolate. BROWN. Now she is…not. Is this makeup? Or is she really straight bleaching her skin?

Truth: Kim has fallen off the deep end. And we’re all just sitting idly by, clucking our tongues. Devil is now shamed.

Oprah Moves Over:

For the first time in the nine-year history of her epononymous magazine, Oprah is sharing the cover with none other than Michelle Obama. Check this out.

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I would never have thought this combination could work! A tangerine dress, a yellow sweater and is that a clear plastic belt? Michelle looks smashing. Except for the helmet hair.

The cover is awkward though, no? Are they talking to each other? Is Oprah praying? Is Michelle giving a speech? Were they really standing together? I think I needed to see them embracing and looking directly at me. Or something.

Okay, the devil doesn’t really need to be shamed here. I just needed a reason to talk about this awesome cover.

Truth: Michelle Obama is my hero. And Oprah ain’t bad either.

Dear readers: Tell the truth and shame the devil! Michelle Forde, Lil Kim, Michelle Obama: discuss!

I’d love to hear from you…

UPDATE: Here’s the picture of Lil Kim I wanted to use. (Thanks Tremaya!) Oh Kim, girl what have you done?

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20 Responses to “Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil: Melissa Forde, Lil Kim and Oprah”

  1. Katura Says:

    I few days ago, I read a post on What Would Thembi Do. She said she missed Biggie, she missed Pac, and she missed Lil Kim’s old face. Hilarious, and so very true for me too. I think Kim looks like Madame–that weird puppet from Mister Rogers Neighborhood. Scary and sad.

  2. Antonio Says:

    Melissa Forde – maybe it’s just youthful thinking combined with too much money and access. Imagine being 20 years old and your best friends are the biggest – and youngest – names in urban and pop music. That can be alluring, and the devil’s hard at work, ya dig? Still shameful and sad, and all of them kats need to be prayed for.

    Lil Kim – imagine the kinds of insecurities she was holding in for who knows how long to think that she could “fix” herself. And this is what she considers the new and improved? This kind of thinking scares me – my little sisters may be walking around with the impression that lighter skin, straighter hair, and plastic bitties make life magically fall into place.

    Money makes us even more of what we already are. And if we’re already insecure, then combine that with an industry loaded with the devil’s goodies – it’s an easy trap, especially when people can afford it.

    Michelle Obama is definitely it – the quintessential, 21st century It-girl. Sexy, smart, competent, and strong. When the most popular woman in the world holds these qualities, it sends a message to our children. They don’t have to be shallow, dumb themselves down, hike that skirt up, or dramatically alter themselves and their morals to “fit in.”
    By being good to themselves and their bodies and their minds, they can be just as outstanding too, ya dig? That is even more reason to celebrate Michelle Obama. Thank you for ending this thread with her!

  3. Keisha Says:

    I am getting my laughs plus some after this post! You are “tre fab” Aliya!

    Maybe I’m late or lame for not knowing that Melissa and Rihanna were bff’s. It explains alot because I sure as crap thought that THAT was a pic of Rihanna in the image above. Funny thing about the pool side lovin is that my friends would do the same exact thing. Only difference, your girl that is in the ER is traded in for my girl that is a funeral director…you talk about fine stitching!

    Lil’ Kim…no comment just yet. Still pondering…

  4. Cuzin Erin Says:

    Ya know…I actually love Michelle Obama more than I do her husband! She’s that chick I always wanted to be but never had the confidence to try. MO got it going on!

    Lil Kim – she’s the anti-Michelle Obama. She’s the poster girl for bad choices. She’s that chick my momma would have pointed out and said “don’t be like her when you grow up”. All I can do is shake my head at the trainwreck that is Lil Kim and her life.

  5. Kimberly Burgess Wilson Says:

    I think Michelle looks great and Oprah’s orchid dress does too. Sad thing whoever staged that didn’t make sure Oprah was on point from the neck up. Nothing flatters there.

    Melissa Forde is just a fool living the good life. She’s on the payroll. Nothing more to it. She’ll jump ship when she has to just like all other personal assistants posing as BFFs (like CaCee Cobb and Jessica Simpson; Alli Sims and Britney…hmm…)

  6. Tarana Says:

    Whoo hoo homie. This is a lot in one blog….

    Okay. Rhianna. I agree with a previous message about the youth of it all. (BTW – I hope your readers know that Rhianna’s melissa fordE is not the infamous model/actress/no comment video chic Melyssa Ford.) Anyway. They are young and not well informed BUT (dare I say it) there is also something suspect here. I am just saying the story will continue to unfold. I am so saddened by the whole event and the toll its taking on the young minds of little black boys and girls all over the country. But mark my words – the real deal is going to have even more twists involved…

    Now Kim, *sigh* I love(d) her so much. I always thought of her as a broken young girl who unfortunately was thrust into the spotlight without a real guardian or caretaker to help her with the transition. Kim is certainly broken. She is an abuse survivor – sexual and physical – who has been cast as the poster child for objectification. Mix that with an industry that will stomp out any slither of self worth that a girl might possible have and you have Kimberly “the new Latoya J.” Jones. She is a classic case. She doesn’t see pretty. No matter what she sees in the mirror she is obviously not seeing; pretty, acceptable, secure, beautiful. I’m sure even now. I feel so deeply for her and I try to refrain from ridicule bc really it’s sad. (I said try) But the truth is if you gave any number of girls from the hood with the same pedigree a grip of cash – this would be the result. They just can’t afford it now, so we see the desperate attempts: The long blonde weaves, the crazy make-up, etc…
    Pray for her ya’ll.

    Now this cover. Umph, umph, umph. That damn outfit Lady O has on is bananas (besides the helmet hair – you’re right Aliya) but she is the epitome of style and grace and just excellence (in mainstream America) Oprah’s dress is hot too. But it does look superimposed. Like they are not in the same place. I will be curious to see the spread inside.

    btw – can I say it’s ABOUT DAMN TIME OPRAH! Yes, you are a hot midas commodity and everything you grace turns to gold…but NINE YEARS! Come on. That is just downright narcissistic (hope that’s spelled right) after awhile. I hope this is the new direction for the magazine in general.

    Whew. I have to rest my wrists now.

  7. Southern_Lady Says:

    Let me see…..Melissa, you are out of order. I would NEVER hang out with a friend’s BF after he beat the brakes off of her (Sorry, I couldn’t resist using that line!). If my friend went back to him, I don’t know if I could support her. It’s a catch 22 for everyone involved. I’m still confused on Diddy’s role in the reconcilliation. He was on Ellen this morning saying he was just being a friend to Chris (Lord knows, he needs one these days) and saw nothing wrong with two people sitting down, hashing things out. Ellen said she wasn’t trying to “put him in it,” but she does not condone anyone hitting a woman. He said, “Well, you did put me in it, so I’m gonna speak on it.” Um, correction: You put yourself in it when you invited C. Breezy to your beach home.” Kick rocks, as usual, Sean.

    Bottom line: Whatever happened in that car from either party was no excuse for what he did to her. I don’t believe in testing a man either, but sheesh. He went SUPER hard on her.

    Kim is a lost cause and has been since the album after Hardcore (?). She was so cute back in the day. I don’t know what makes her think she’s the “Black Erica Kane” or the “Black Marilyn Monroe.” I have a problem with women of color calling themselves the “Black ___.” Just be the BLACK YOU. She and Michael are twins right about now. Damn shame.

    Who knew O has been out for nine years? I give at the most, five years. I am trying to jack Mrs. Obama’s oufit for the summer! I assume clear belts will be in this summer. It is somewhat awkward. I think it was photoshopped. Both of the ladies look stunning. I’d rock Sophia’s dress, too.

  8. la negrita Says:

    I can’t really pass judgment on Melissa. Like you said, there are a lot of missing pieces to the puzzle. Even if there weren’t, it is likely for the victim to return, leaving the supporters/defenders looking like asshats in the aftermath. Not that this should influence your decision to support a friend, but the friend may very well end up turning on you.

    This is one of those “you have to experience it” situations for me. In general, I try not to pick sides. This has caused problems in my interpersonal relationships, as people misunderstand what “loyalty” means. I will stand by a mofo through the storm, but I don’t need to prove it by barking the loudest or greasing up for the fight.

  9. Caila K Says:

    Looking at Lil Kim makes me ill. And to think, she made a stink over Naturi Naughton playing her in Notorious because she was too dark. Has this woman lost all touch with reality?-You were born CHOCOLATE! For years I thought skin bleaching was a myth (or the key to bootleg red and blotchy skin). I didn’t REALLY think celebs could accomplish it (even with Michael Jackson-I thought-really good make-up). But Lil Kim has taken it to a whole new level. I just have to shake my head and pray for her.

    As for M. Forde? Chris Breezy must talk a really good game. For the longest time I held out on passing judgement (I’ve been known to lose my cool and do things in the heat of the moment that I regret to this day), BUT those pictures….then the police report made me have to take off my Team Chris shirt. I’m not saying I’ll never buy an album again. But I’m gonna need for him and Rihanna to at least get “spotted” going into counseling first. The jet-skis and pool lounging is just ridiculous.
    I’m with Usher-really Chris? Jet-skis man?

    PS-I love Ms. O but the every cover thing is uber-ridic to me also. It’s about time someone else graced the cover!

  10. aqua Says:

    Lil Kim has lost her mind. Now, everyone in the world knows this. Whenever her name comes up in the barbershop the conversation is always about how she looked perfectly fine as a chocolate colored honey bun but now she resembles a ghoulish, short version of Wacko Jacko.

    Kim’s plight is related to this Melissa Forde gofer in that Kim must be surrounded by a gang of Melissa Forde’s telling her, “Yes Kim, you are the best thing since sliced bread.” “Yes Kim, Biggie didn’t write any of those lyrics for you.” “Yes Kim, Dakota Fanning does look just like you, the resemblance is uncanny.”

    **cueing up Nas’ “Black Girl Lost”**

  11. Victoria Says:

    You ain’t never lie Roomie. And i would also have some other methods of dealing with him that cannot be disclosed.

  12. Kimmie Says:

    I have to agree with Katura-Lil Kim does look like Madame (I almost fell out of my chair laughing). Kim use to be such a pretty girl. She is a prime example of a celebrity being surrounded by yes people. When she wanted to fix her nose the first time, ok. When she got her veneers, I still though, ok. Those are normal procecedures that people get. Even when she got the boob job, I still thought ok because she still looked like herself. I don’t know who she now. I don’t know if someone told her this was broaden her audience but all it does is make her fodder for chat rooms. Sometimes, at certain angles, I get a glimpse of the old Kim. If she would take out the cheek implants, maybe she would look human. Now she just looks a fool.

    Chrianna Gate is filled with so many twists and turns and holes in the story. You know that once everything comes out, it’s going to be on an episode of Law & Order. I’ve been in an abusive relationship before and I have to say, it’s not as easy to get out of as you think it is. When something shifts gears so quickly, for a long time you’re in shock because you can’t believe the person that you care about has been abusive to you in ANY form. I am not condoning her staying in it (because Oprah was correct when she said if he hits you once he will hit you again.) but if they want to stay together, counseling needs to be done (and not just talking to his mom or going to church. Both need to see someone because I’m pretty sure Rih-Rih isn’t completely innocent. Even if she didn’t hit him, egging a man TO hit is just as wrong and I know a lot of women who have done this, then tried to be shocked that he lost control. What did you expect to happen?) I said all of that to say, NO ONE has the right to put their hands on anyone else. I think her friends are doing what a lot of friends do: if you’re happy, I’m happy. If you’re sad, I’m sad, etc. That’s not to say it’s right but either a.) they don’t want to lose their meal ticket bc she’s a celeb or b.) they’re not getting in her business because they don’t want to lose the friendship. Who knows the real reason…..

    And I thought I was the only person who thought that cover looked off. It doesn’t look like they were photographed at the same place. I love Lady-O, she is the epitomy of class. I just wish they would’ve chosen a better cover. But something has been off with O’s covers lately. If you look at last months, her facial features seem stretched, and her head is positioned funny…..happy that she chose to share the cover FINALLY though….

  13. Sean C. Winslow Says:

    I stopped reading at “She’d castrate him”…I did peruse the the Lil Kim pictures…sad.

  14. Aunt Janna Says:

    Kim reminds me of a former friend and co-worker, let’s call her Tracy (cos that’s her name). Tracy is a short, buxom woman with beautiful, thick, Black folks hair. She is slightly darker than my complexion, however, because her mother is white, Tracy feels as though she should be able to call herself white. I kept trying to tell her that sometimes black IS just a color, but…

    About Rihanna and Chris. I do not brook any man hitting a woman, I just don’t feel as though I’m getting the real picture here. I was in Birmaingham, AL this past weekend attending the Davis Cup (and drooling over my man James Blake!) and my roommate kept turning the tv to the E channel where all of these “experts” were talking about how sickened they were over the description of the beat down. One even starting crying and suggested that Chris be imprisoned for life! OK, she’s back with the dude, and meanwhile, there are thousands of women (and some men) who die as a result of domestic violence (and I know cos I’m on the Domestic Violence Council) where’s the righteous indignation over them?

  15. Jovi Says:

    Wish I could hug Kim and tell her I love her. I don’t think she has anyone in her like to tell her. She has made several bad choices, the topper is plastic surgery. When she first shaved down her beaver teeth I thought that was ok. Boobs ok. But when she started with her face it was all down hill. She looks like MJ. Can someone fix her? Do they have darkening cream and deflating lip injections?

    Melissa Forde – I had a friend who got beat by her man and she confided in me. I could not stand to be around him. He threatened to toss her out the window, she lived on the 17th floor. Was not mad at her when she kept going back but was elated when she finally left him. I never judged her but knew that God had another plan for her. She just needed to trust in him to see her through it.

  16. smallmediumlarge Says:

    i’ve had a friend who was abused by her man. i held my nose and stood by her. she’s out of that relationship now. it’s not easy to watch someone make the wrong choices. you can’t control the outcome and you can’t even ensure that your friendship will survive your perfectly logical and impassioned critique. but the most important thing is to let your friend know that you’re there unconditionally. otherwise, you add to the shame and isolation she’s already feeling.

  17. Luvvie Says:

    Chrihanna Gate ’09 is just a sad situation all around. I hope both sides get therapy. Onto the subject of Melissa, I’m side-eyeing her for that fire engine red hair alone. I mean, really? That soo Keyshia Cole circa 2005. But I digress… Alls I kno is I doubt I’d be kicking it w/ my BFF’s boyfriend after he beats her to a pulp.

    Lil Kim – iCant. iQuit her. iRebuke her.

    Michelle – Yeah who’da thunk that her ketchup and mustard outfit could work? Michelle is just FIERCE!

  18. Megademus Says:

    Speaking on First Lady Michelle Obama, I think the ‘helmet hair’ fits her, in a very dignified way.

    Disclaimer… I do not condone any abuse of woman.

    Chris is 19 and obviously has some issues if he feels he can hit a woman. Chris should be given support of strong male role models(I guess like Diddy?) that can hold him accountable concerning this incident and future behavior. I believe he can be redeemed, through a process and time. He should just fallback from relationships for a minute until some growth been established.

  19. TallulahBankhead Says:

    Melissa Forde is unsophisticated and corrupt. Don’t worry she has lots of company on that list.

  20. tete Says:

    This pic is old and Rihanna is in there with the. it’s het best friend she wouldn’t do that.

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