Aliya S. King

hard-boiled egg. water. no coffee. sob.

My Aunt Janna just sent me an email. Warning about pistachioes and salmonella poisoning.

I’m a pistachio-loving fool.

This is scary.

I hate when healthy food proves deadly. Like the spinach incident from a few years back. It just seems so unfair. What the hell can we eat?

My pistachioes for lunch. Which I eat every day. I'm not tossing them. These things are expensive. And obviously, this batch is fine. I've been eating them for three weeks...

Cleaning out my bag before I start working. (It’s a ritual. I can’t have clutter when I write) Found this business card someone gave me…

I was walking around Macy’s the other night. This woman walks up to me and says, “Here. Take my card. And give me a call if you need anything…”

She owns a hair salon.

How should I take that?

Is she saying, you look so fly that I’d love to have you in my shop?

Or. Is she saying, I don’t know what you have on under that warm and fuzzy hat but something tells me it ain’t all good.

I’m going for the latter.

Ugh.

Should I have been offended? I totally was. Though I don’t think she meant any harm. Maybe I’m too sensitive.

Oh. And what’s up with the crossed out digits on the business card? Once your number changes, I say you bite the bullet and re-up. No?

Have you ever rocked business cards with the cross-out? Don’t lie!

Oh. And should Charlene’s offer have offended me?

What’s up with that? I added the Twitter widget to my sidebar. Thought it was kinda cool. But it never works? What’s up with that?

I don’t have any more Lactaid pills here in the office!

That means I can’t have any of Omar’s sweet and delicious coffee made with whole milk!

If I drink this coffee, there will be hell to pay. Trust me.

And I can’t go buy any Lactaid pills cause it’s Wednesday. And the parking is weird. And I had to park really far. And I’ll have to park even farther if I leave and come back.

If you’re a coffee head like me, you’ll know why I feel like crying right now.

How on earth will I be able to channel Frank Lucas without coffee? DAMMIT.

SOB!