Posts Tagged ‘ugh’

Ugh

November 2, 2009

I don’t ask for  much in this world.

I’m pretty low-key.

Definitely low-maintenance.

I just started having a standing hair appointment in the last year or so. (Feel like a grown woman with my every other Thursday at nine joint).

After giving birth, my feet went up a full size and a half. They only came back down a half-size.

A year later, I realized that all my cute shoes were just taunting me from my closet. I stacked them neatly in the foyer of my apartment and parceled them out. To my little sister, to TG’s mom and a few pair to charity. Done. It’s over. I got big feet.

It’s hard to start a shoe game from scratch.

Especially when you have no good reason to buy cute shoes. I’m a freelancer. I haven’t been to an office since 2000. What on earth do I need a cute shoe game for?

After I came to grips with my new shoe size, I began to slowly but surely purchase new shoes, mostly cute flats.

Just picked these up last week.

target shoe

Target. 20 bucks. What?!

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Completely Gratuitous: I’m getting old. And I don’t like it.

October 26, 2009

I don’t like having my picture taken.

I actually hate it.

In childhood, it was because I had a serious overbite from ten years of thumb-sucking and a gap between my two front teeth that you could drive a car through.

And for some reason, my natural smile is wide. Super wide. I smile with reckless abandon. Like I’m really really overjoyed that your camera is in my face.

Even though I’m not.

So when I get a request for a photo to be placed on the contributor’s page of a magazine, I panic.

I’ve always pored over the contributor’s page of every magazine I could get my hands on. Everyone always looks so fashionable, so with-it and happening. They all have amazing bios and their photos are always perfect: a family shot with adorable cherubs, a glam shot taken by a professional, a care-free picture that looks like it was taken by a lover.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I think all writers stress over submitting these pictures. We take a million of them right at our computer, trying hard to make it look like we didn’t take the picture just for the magazine. Here’s me right now:

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